Putting Out The Flames

So, yeah, sorry it's been a month and a half... darn you college life. :-P But then again, Matt Smith of the Wordsmitherd blog posts several times a week, so it's no excuse for me...

Speaking of Matt Smith, there was a rather interesting post on his blog recently with a variety of topics, one of which is Lee U. Greek club Delta Zeta Tau's popular annual event, "The Hook-Up." The concern was raised that, since the term "hook-up" has gotten a slight sexual connotation in addition to the many other good meanings over the years, DZT could solidify a reputation of being "Sleazy-T" in spite of the fact that the vast majority of the women in the group do not deserve this stereotype. A couple of people took it out of context, and a big debate ensued over the word and over Matt's intentions behind his statement. One in particular, however, took it to an extreme. In the blog Fridays at Lee, the author proclaimed that Matt thought DZT was sleazy and proceeded to attack Matt's character in a way that would make a 15-year-old left-wing fanatic on a gaming message forum's spam board blush in shame (trust me, I know from experience).

I got pretty heated after reading that, but then I reflected over my personal experience on blogs and message boards and the like, and I started to wonder... Why do people need to flame in the first place? I can understand some criticism, like pointing out how someone is incorrect and endeavoring to provide an alternative perspective, but stuff like the following is uncalled for (and to the best of my memory, these are direct quotes from stuff I've seen online; sorry for any crudeness):

• You have got to be one of the worst users of all time. Please do the world a favor and end yourself now. Thank you.


• The closest you'll ever get to a girl is with your left hand, a bottle of Dove, and Facebook at 2 a.m.


• Go **** yourself.


• That was a beautiful animal she killed! She needs to be shot for it with her own arrows!

I mean, come on, what kind of malice has to lurk within someone to launch comments like that? All that flaming does is push people away and sever social connections because nobody wants to interact with this crap. Many people do this behind the anonymity of the internet; however, if the identity of the flamer is known, his or her reputation around others could be ruined.

Do some people need to flame to make themselves look tough? Is it somehow cool? Are they trying to feel better about themselves by demeaning others? Do they even give a flip how they are perceived as their insults rain down?

People, keep your conversations civil, whether electronic or in person, anonymous or in full view of all. And if you run into flaming, don't stoop to their level. Just let it roll off your back and continue to keep it civil. At the least, you'll implicitly make a statement that not everyone has to be a malicious punk to accentuate a point.

And through the fire and the flames we'll carry on...